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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27245278">Shakespeare Can Suck It</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaylorMay1912/pseuds/TaylorMay1912'>TaylorMay1912</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Season/Series 15, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Poetry, Bottom Dean Winchester, Castiel &amp; Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel Gives Oral Sex (Supernatural), Castiel and Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester are Jack Kline's Parents, Castiel makes a playlist for Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester One Shot, Cute Jack Kline, Dean Winchester Says "I Love You", Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Dean wants to yeet his emotions into the ocean, Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx Mixtape, Emotion ocean hey look a rhyme, Eventual Smut, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, If you haven't seen Season 15 you can still read this, Jack and Eileen are back no questions asked, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Love, Meddling Sam Winchester, No Angst, POV Castiel (Supernatural), POV Dean Winchester, Poetry, References to Shakespeare, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Shakespearean Sonnets, Smut, Song: to Celia, Sonnet 57, The Impala (Supernatural), Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, references to Ben Johnson, references to the King James Bible</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:33:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,642</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27245278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaylorMay1912/pseuds/TaylorMay1912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean writes a poem to process his feelings for Castiel.<br/>Castiel finds it and answers him back with a poem.</p><p>I started writing this before Season 15 aired, so most of it was speculation that turned into wishful thinking. The poems referenced here are William Shakespeare's "Sonnet 57: Being your slave, what should I do but tend" and Ben Johnson's "Song: to Celia ["Drink to me only with thine eyes"]". The lines referenced from the King James Version of the Bible are Song of Solomon 1:2 and Song of Solomon 4:16. All other poems are my own.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shakespeare Can Suck It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean Winchester is a lot of things, but one thing he would never call himself is ‘a poet’. Sure, he appreciated poetry...of sorts...with music backing it up. Okay, it was mainly Led Zeppelin. So sue him. He preferred to express his thoughts and feelings in other ways.</p><p> </p><p>“Move it, bitch,” Dean grunted, rubbing his eyes as he made his way to the coffee carafe in the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning to you too, Grumpy.” The amount of cheer in Sam’s voice made Dean briefly entertain the idea of chucking his mug at him. Dean liked the mug because it was black with the Star Wars font saying: ‘I find your lack of coffee disturbing’. He couldn’t throw it―it was his favourite mug, and Cas bought it for him.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, right, and Sam was his brother, and throwing the mug at him would hurt him. That too.</p><p> </p><p>Dean shook his head vaguely. Those strange feelings about Cas have been creeping around a lot lately, making themselves known more often. Just the other day Dean had nearly verbally agreed, in the middle of an interview with a mourning widow, that Castiel <em>was </em>very pretty and his eyes <em>were</em> like staring at a summer morning sky. Even the memory of it makes him wince.</p><p> </p><p>“Something on your mind, jerk?” Dean didn’t miss the teasing smirk on Sam’s face as he brought his post-workout protein shake to his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Um.”</p><p> </p><p>That was all Dean could say. He didn’t even manage a manly clearing of the throat or even a light-hearted quip. Sam’s eyebrows shot up so high, Dean thought they’d gotten lost in his mop of a mane.</p><p> </p><p>“Has it got something to do with work?” Sam was giving him an out. Dean could hug him. Instead, he managed a meek smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, sorta,” Dean considered. He genuinely appreciated Sam’s advice...sometimes. But he just couldn’t come out and say it. Years of repressing his feelings made this more difficult than he thought. “Look, I...let’s just say,” He sat down across from Sam, staring down at his mug. If he pretended he wasn’t there, it might make it easier. “I know a guy that has...<em>feelings</em>,” He had to grit his teeth around that word. “For a...”</p><p> </p><p>“Supernatural creature?” Sam supplied. Dean’s eyes snapped to Sam’s, who gave Dean a warm smile. “That’s not too far-fetched, Dean. I mean, come on, we’ve both been with different non-humans,”</p><p> </p><p>“What about a male supernatural creature?” Dean’s voice came out so broken and weak, he almost thought Sam hadn’t heard him. The drop of expression from his brother’s face told him otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>Silence weighed down in the bunker’s kitchen. Sam’s blank face didn’t change, but Dean could see the wheels turning behind his brother’s eyes. Dean busied himself with draining his coffee mug, so he couldn’t see the ridiculous understanding in Sam’s gentle gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean,” His tone was neutral as if Dean was a nervous horse he didn’t want to spook. Which made sense. Dean wiped his palms on his jeans and took a deep breath but to no avail. His heartbeat reminded him of thunderstorms in Texas. “What type of supernatural creature are we talking about?” Dean couldn’t help the exasperated sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“Sammy,” He warned.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, okay,” Sam held up his hands defensively. “Alright. I would tell this...uh, “friend” that he’s in a safe space. And he has no reason to be afraid of how he’s feeling,” Dean just stared at him. Sam rapt his fingers on the table. “Maybe tell him to try writing out a letter, or even a poem. Let him feel as sappy and emotional as possible, and then... if he wants to say something, he can give the ang―I mean, <em>creature</em>―what he wrote. Or you could just...”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, Sam. Drop it,” Dean made a show of dragging the chair on the ground as he got up to rinse out his cup. He let out a heavy sigh at the sink. Poetry. He huffed out a low laugh. Of course, his precious baby brother would suggest <em>that</em>. But maybe that was exactly what he needed to do, get all his ridiculous emotions out onto a page, so he can sit back and laugh at it before chucking it in the bin. Set the bin on fire. Put the smoking bin into a safe. Fill the safe with cement. Chuck it into the ocean.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean?” Dean pointedly ignored Sam’s concerned look. “Are you going to...to tell your friend?” Sam was trying so hard here, and so help him, Dean cracked a smile because of it.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” He shrugged. “I’ll give him a call and tell him what you suggested. Probably won’t amount to much though.” Dean couldn’t get out of the kitchen fast enough.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell him I said, ‘good luck’,” Sam’s words fell on ignorant ears as Dean disappeared down the hallway. He cast his eyes to the ceiling, a sense of sweet victory washing over him. “Bobby, you owe me a damn drink.”</p><p> </p><p>******</p><p> </p><p>Dean stared down at the blank page, biting his lip. He can do this. It’s not like it’s ever going to see the light of day. The door was closed, Sam had gone out on a grocery run, and there was no chance Castiel was going to pop in on him unexpectedly. Dean had already given him a hard talk about respecting the boundaries of closed bedroom doors, after a fiasco involving a freshly-showered Dean about to get dressed, and Castiel flinging his bedroom door wide open just as Dean was about to drop the towel.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, okay, you can do this,” He muttered, and allowed himself to think about Castiel, no holds barred. He thought about their first meeting, how insignificant he felt in front of the first angel he had ever met. He remembered the first time he noticed his heart beating faster because of him, when Cas indirectly helped him with Chuck when they thought he was the prophet. Dean felt a smile creep on his face as he remembered how nervous Cas was when Dean dragged him into a ’den of iniquity’, as he called it.</p><p> </p><p>Try as he could, he couldn’t stop his father’s voice niggling in the back of his head: ‘You shouldn’t do this, you’re not supposed to feel this way, you’re no son of mine...’ Dean felt his hands shake. Perhaps it would be worth explaining everything to Cas like he wishes he could. He wants to tell Cas so much he knows he can’t say. Like a confession of sorts. Dean smirked as he wrote the words ‘The Righteous Man’s Confession’ at the top of the page.</p><p> </p><p>Hours passed, and there were countless balls of paper resting in his bin before he finally felt like he’d exhausted all the emotion he ever felt about the angel. He read over the poem once more with bleary eyes, allowing himself to feel everything one final time:</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Me? Oh, I’m nothing much.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just bullet-holes, dirt and rust.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m a broken car shell,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Went through literal Hell,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But you put me back together.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Being without you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It cuts me through.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t know who I am,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The man without a plan,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There’s not a storm we can’t weather.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Dad’s lessons in my head,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Telling me I’m better off dead</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Than letting my emotions show.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But the feeling continues to grow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Got to tell you before it kills me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>You’re family, one of us now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t you dare think of how</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s time for you to move on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When you’re away, I am gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I need you, man, can’t you see?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Alcohol numbs my pain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Stupid mistakes, Mark of Cain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sammy says I shouldn’t hide,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So I’m going to swallow my pride.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know I am the reason you fell.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>You, who tore it all down,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tossed the sword and crown.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In case you somehow forgot,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’d rather have you, cursed or not...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am in love with you, Castiel.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>A single tear crept from his eye as he slowly bricked his feelings away again. Before he could do much more, there was a knock at the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, so get this...” Sam barged in, and Dean barely had the time to crumple the paper up and throw it at the now-overflowing bin. Sam paused and cocked an eyebrow. Dean cleared his throat loudly.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” Sam pointedly ignored the tear tracks on Dean’s face as he continued telling Dean about the ghost haunting one town over.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>******</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Dean?” Cas knocked on Dean’s bedroom door, just like the hunter told him to before seeking entrance into the room. There was no response, so Cas opened the door cautiously. Not that he particularly cares if he finds Dean in a precarious position―he knows every single part of Dean’s body perfectly. Dean seems to forget Cas was the one who restored his body after his soul was returned from Hell. Cas made sure every single part of it was perfect, as per his instructions from Heaven. But he couldn’t hide his claim on Dean’s soul, not then. Cas told himself back then it was borne from a sense of humility in his accomplishment of the life-threatening task, but he knows different now. It was opposite, and it was the first sign of his ‘disobedience’. At least, according to his superiors.</p><p> </p><p>Cas’ phone started ringing, and he pulled it out of his coat pocket. He couldn’t help the smile as he saw Dean’s name on the Call-ID and he accepted the call.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, Dean,”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Cas, are you home?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. What do you need?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do ya think you can go to my room, and grab Dad’s journal? It’s sitting on my desk, I think,” Cas glanced around, and spotted the tired old book perched on the corner of the desk. He normally never leaves without it. As if he heard Castiel’s thoughts, Dean laughed: “I guess I had a lot on my plate, and it just slipped my mind,”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright, Dean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, yeah. Yeah, man. Don’t worry about me. Not worth it,”</p><p> </p><p>“Dean,” Cas picked up the journal and watched as a photograph fluttered from the pages to the floor, next to a big pile of balled-up pages. “All of the people for you say that to...”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Dean’s voice was teasing, but the insecurity edged his tone.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t...” An exasperated sigh came up from his chest, which caught Cas by surprise. How incredibly human of him. “You can’t ever expect me to ever think you not worth it,”</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Cas could tell he’d made Dean uncomfortable. “In any case, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine. Can you flip to the page, I think it’s somewhere near the back, about Dad’s experience with that one demon...uh...?”</p><p> </p><p>“The demon who taunted your father with the whereabouts of Azazel?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that one. Can you help settle a debate between Sam and me? Was the demon possessing a man or a woman? Because Sam swears Dad said something about making a deal with a man but...”</p><p> </p><p>“It was a woman. Dean, why are you arguing about this?”</p><p> </p><p>“Killing time, waiting for dark to roll around. Sammy,” Cas could hear the sound of Sam yelling ‘What?’ back. “You owe me a beer, dude. Why on Earth did you think it was a man?” There were muffled noises in the background of the call. “Alrighty then,” Dean’s voice became clearer again. “So, Cas. What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“There are a lot of things that can be construed as ‘up’. The Bunker, for example,”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, good old Cas,” Cas could hear the smile in his tone, and it brought a smile to Cas’ lips too.</p><p> </p><p>“But to answer your question, I’m not doing much. I came around to see you,”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh yeah? After anything, or were you missing me?” Cas rolled his eyes. “Don’t answer that, I know you weren’t after anything.” Dean let out a heavy sigh. “So it’s looking like we’ll be able to salt and burn the bitch haunting this house and be back home by noon tomorrow. Think you can wait around that long or does upstairs need you for something?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I don’t think there’s anything in Heaven that requires my immediate attention,”</p><p> </p><p>“Sweet, so we’ll see you then? Might even grab you one of those ridiculous mugs I saw in this store when we were interviewing. You shoulda seen it, Cas, the weirdest fucking thing. It was a mug with a bee on it, saying ‘Buzz off!’. I think you’d like it,”</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds brilliant, Dean. You know I’d love anything you get for me,” Cas closed the journal, and picked up the photo that had fallen. It was a photo of Sam, Dean and Cas. He smiled fondly as he remembered Jack playing around with the camera Sam had gifted him. The photo was taken with Dean leaning up against the Impala, and Sam smiling directly at the camera. But Dean wasn’t looking at Jack and the camera. Cas’ heart thudded heavily as he realised Dean was smiling and looking at <em>him</em>. Cas was, of course, sneaking a smiling look at Dean.</p><p> </p><p>He put the photo back, and the pile of papers balled up in and around the bin caught his eye. One of the balls had his name stretched across it, all crumpled and messy. A small voice in the back of his head told him to leave it alone, it was meant to be binned. But he never listened to that voice before, so why would he start now?</p><p> </p><p>“Anyway, I’ve gotta go, buddy. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, Dean. I’ll be here.” Cas smiled and he heard the dial tone. His curiosity got the best of him, and he scooped up the balled-up paper with his name on it, and read.</p><p> </p><p>Oh. It’s a poem. Dean writes poetry? Oh. It’s...about him? He finally got to the part with his name, right at the end. Cas felt his entire being freeze. Dean...loves him? Not like how he loves Sam and Jack, but like how Cas loves him? His grace started to crackle from within his body. That hasn’t happened since Dean said he needed him in Purgatory. Tears started to well up in his eyes, and he felt...how does he feel? Castiel has never felt this way before, so he had no way of putting a name to it. Happy? He glanced around nervously, waiting to hear The Empty’s broken laughter. Either what Cas was feeling isn’t happiness, or...was the deal between them off, since The Empty had Jack, even if it was fleeting?</p><p> </p><p>He allowed himself to feel more of that happiness well up in his chest. A smile spread on his face. He was happy, and nothing was going to take him away from this. He gazed fondly at the poem again, before it occurred to him it was in the bin. Why was Dean’s poem in the bin?</p><p> </p><p>He’s ashamed, Cas realised. He doesn’t truly want to admit it to himself yet. His father...Cas went over the third verse again. His father had raised him to be a man’s man, and he can’t get John’s words out of his head.  Frustration flooded Cas’ senses, and he found himself shaking slightly.</p><p> </p><p>He had to leave the room before he did something reckless, like destroy something out of a pure burst of force. He couldn’t part with the lovely words Dean had written, even if he meant to ball up his confession and hide it. He wanted to call Dean up and tell him he found the poem and how much he appreciated it, but Cas realised he wasn’t supposed to see that. He could imagine Dean’s fury at Cas snooping around in his bedroom. He left Dean’s room feeling utterly deflated, and completely at a loss for what to do.</p><p> </p><p>Sam might know. But Sam was with Dean at the moment, and there was no real way to catch the younger Winchester without Dean being there. Unless...</p><p> </p><p>Cas pulled out his phone as he walked into the War Room, and opened up his recent text messages to Sam. The last one was two weeks ago, asking about Cas’ whereabouts because Dean was chomping at the bit to do something just the three of them. Cas smiled sadly at his negative response, remembering being caught up with some of his siblings in a small bout of in-fighting.  He quickly typed out a message asking for Sam to call him when he’s free, preferably away from Dean. A few moments later, Cas’ phone started vibrating with Sam’s name coming up on the Caller ID.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Cas,” Sam’s voice came crackling through the speaker. “Dean’s gone out for some drinks,”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I don’t want to keep you. If you want to spend time with Dean, then―“</p><p> </p><p>“No, don’t worry about it, man. I just told Dean I’m tired from interviewing all day, and he didn’t question it. Probably won’t be back for a few hours. What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, it’s...” Cas sighed, taking a seat at the map table. “I just found something in Dean’s room when I was looking through your father’s journal...” His throat closed up. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Sam would probably scoff at the suggestion. Cas’ tongue froze on his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” Sam’s voice sounded slightly curious. Cas was being ridiculous, of course. Sam was the gentler of the two brothers, and he knew this. There was no reason for him to be so hesitant.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me start by stating, I know what I’ve come across wasn’t meant to be seen by me. Dean made that blatantly obvious... but I feel like I should just be open with you since I’m calling to ask for your advice,”</p><p> </p><p>“Apparently, I’ve become Dr Phil today,” Cas heard a smile in Sam’s voice. “Go ahead, man. I’ll try and help you if I can. I promise I won’t judge you, either.” This settled Cas’ nerves somewhat. Of course, Sam wouldn’t judge him. It’s <em>Sam</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. You may have already worked out that I tend to favour Dean more than anybody else. Of course, I don’t mean this as a way of decreasing your value to me. Of course, I highly value your friendship,” Cas bit down on his lip, feeling his stomach lurch. This is <em>not </em>how he meant his confession to go. Good going, Castiel. Ask the man for help, then insult him by degrading your friendship to him.</p><p> </p><p>“I get it, Cas. You and Dean have a more― what was it, ‘Profound bond’?” Cas let go of a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, yes. I...I have very strong feelings towards your brother, Sam.”</p><p> </p><p>“Cas,” He could hear Sam refraining from letting out a laugh. “Are you trying to tell me you’re in love with my brother?” There was a prolonged silence as Cas unglued his tongue from the roof of his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“Would that bother you?” There was a small huff of laughter from the phone.</p><p> </p><p>“Not in the slightest, Castiel. I’m happy for you, man.” Sam let out a giddy sigh. “Damn, Bobby owes me <em>two </em>drinks now,”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean, Sam?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, nothing, just...we had a bet going, him and I. This was way back, obviously. Probably around the time Dean was hell-bent on saying ‘yes’ to Michael and he kept openly hitting on you,”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?” Cas frowned. He remembered being very frustrated with Dean when he wanted to go find Michael to say yes. Flashes of that dark alley-way still haunt his memories. Not his proudest moment, for sure, but he <em>did </em>succeed in getting his point across.</p><p> </p><p>“He was going out of his way to make you uncomfortable by flirting with you. Pretty sure he suggested you...uh, ‘blow him’? And I seem to recall the phrase “Last person who looked at me like that―””</p><p> </p><p>“― ”I got laid”. Yes, I remember that, but I honestly thought he was only doing that to rile me up, as you two like to say,”</p><p> </p><p>“Possibly,” Sam murmured. “But there have been other instances over the years. Also, not to mention, you two <em>do</em> tend to lock eyes for way too long. Sometimes makes me uncomfortable, but that’s not the issue. The issue is, you want to...figure out how to tell Dean you found his poem?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. He wrote such a lovely poem, and I want to write something in response to his words. A way to reassure him I reciprocate his feelings, but I don’t want to scare him away either. I value his friendship too much, and I don’t want to lose what Dean and I have in favour of possibly pursuing a romantic relationship with him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I’ll give you the same advice I gave Dean. Write out your feelings, get everything out. But instead of doing what you want with them, Cas, you should give the poem to Dean. Or, even better,” Sam paused. “You can leave the letter somewhere he’s going to find it, but inconspicuous enough to seem like you didn’t mean to leave it there. Kinda like how you came across his poem, yeah?” Castiel thought about it.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what if I have it on me and ‘accidentally’ drop it in the Impala next time I catch a ride with you three?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that’d work! And I’ll drop hints about cleaning out the car. Or I could make a mess in the car and piss Dean off enough to make him clean it,” Sam let out a noise that sounded close to an evil laugh. “I’ve been wanting to get him back for putting itching powder on my comb a few weeks back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, Sam. Thank you.” Cas smiled. They both bid their goodbyes, and Cas hung up. Biting his lip, Cas made his way back to Dean’s room, sat down at the desk and wrote out everything he was feeling. He decided on the title ‘The Seraph’s Prayer’. Seemed fitting against Dean’s title.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Dean, I didn’t mean to peek.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The paper-ball wasn’t discreet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I saw my name and I confess:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My grace became a static mess.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I loved you the moment I saw you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>The barn is not when I’m referring,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your blade-wielding wasn’t deterring.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As your soul held to my wing,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I found I commit my first sin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My prideful handprint, your tattoo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I saw past your tough exteriors,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Defied the odds and my superiors.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Celestial beings shouldn’t feel,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But you’re driving my steering wheel,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I crashed into your world blind.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I know you all too well,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your turmoil and your personal hell.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve watched empires fall and fade,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Still, I hurt more from your gaze</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When you say, ‘Hurt me, I don’t mind’.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>We have become quite the pair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I promise I’ll always be there</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To remind you how loved you are</em>
</p><p>
  <em>By a once-great fallen star.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I will never let you feel unseen.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I would die a thousand times</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just so that your soul still shines.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But this prayer can’t reach your ears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’d tell you, as I have wanted to for years,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I mean, ‘I love you’ when I say, ‘Hello, Dean’.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Cas felt a huge weight roll off his chest as he folded the paper up. His grace tingled hopefully as he put all of Dean’s possessions back where he found them. Now all he must do was wait.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“How about we watch a movie?” Dean jumped up from his seat at the War Room table. A few days had passed since they arrived back from the hunt, and Dean had been acting curiously happier than normal. Cas cocked an eyebrow at Dean’s question, but Sam just sighed loudly.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve made us watch so many movies recently, I think Netflix believes you’re a robot trying to boost their sales,” Sam shot Dean a scathing glare from the tomes he was pouring over. “Why don’t you get out and go <em>see</em> a movie, since you’re so clearly crawling up the walls?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nah, not going alone, man. Come on, go with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Depends,” Sam closed the book and leaned back on his chair. “What movie would you go see?”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s that new superhero one you said you wanted to see, Dean,” Cas was scrolling through his phone, and Dean was extremely grateful Claire taught him the finer things about the Internet because some of the things Cas had asked about technology left even Sam stumped. “It starts at seven.”</p><p> </p><p>“There!” Dean clicks his fingers. “Come on. We can take Jack along too,”</p><p> </p><p>“Jack <em>does </em>love Spiderman,” Cas mused.</p><p> </p><p>“That settles it. Family movie night, out in the land of the living!” Dean grinned, and both Sam and Cas mirrored his smile. It was so rare to see Dean this cheery. His happiness was incredibly infectious.</p><p> </p><p>"Fine, but I'm trying out that new slushie the theatre has.” Sam stood up, closing the book he was reading with an air of finality. Dean gave his brother a weird look. “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Never took you for a slushie fan,”</p><p> </p><p>“That might change tonight. Who knows?” He pulled on his jacket. “I’ll drive there, you drive back?” Dean tossed him the keys, grinning again. Sam shared a secret smile with Cas before turning on his heel to call out for Jack.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That movie was <em>awesome</em>,” Jack was bopping up and down in the backseat of the Impala three hours later, Cas’ coat draped over his body to keep warm. Being brought back from The Empty left Jack’s powers at a low point. Not entirely gone, but weak enough that he nearly passed as a human for the time being. Dean couldn’t hide the surge of affection on his face at the over-excited puppy look on the kid’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure was, buddy. Spiderman is awesome. Is he your favourite superhero?” Dean glanced in the rear-view mirror to see Jack’s sugar-high grin shining back at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Other than you, Sam and Cas, definitely,” Jack hummed happily, Dean had to bite down on his bottom lip to hide the proud grin on his face. “I don’t think I’ve had a slushie that quickly before,”</p><p> </p><p>“That was a <em>lot</em> of sugar, Jack,” Cas frowned, resting a concerning hand on the boy’s shoulder. Jack turned his beaming smile to Cas, and it washed the frown right from Cas’ face.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, Cas,” Sam spoke from shotgun, pulling another deep slurp from his slushie. “He’ll crash soon enough. We’re, what, a minute away?” Dean gave Sam a nod. “Look,” Sam pointed over his shoulder at the boy. Dean and Cas glanced towards Jack, whose eyes were closed and head was drooping onto Cas’ shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Shot not carrying him out of the car,” Dean smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“I was going to, anyway, Dean,” Cas rolled his eyes. When he knew Dean’s eyes were back firmly on the road, he fished into his dress pants pocket for that little scrap of paper from a few days ago. Just as the car started to slow down towards the garage entrance, he let the paper flutter onto the floor of the back of the car.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh shit,“ There was the sound of fumbling, and Sam stared in shock as the last of his sour cherry red slushie doused the floor of the front seat of Dean’s Baby.</p><p> </p><p>“SAM!” Dean growled, pulling the car into park. “WHAT THE FU-“ He flicked his gaze to the still-sleeping Nephilim resting on Cas’ shoulder. “What the fuck?” He hissed out.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Dean. It was an accident.” Sam held up his hands in defeat. “I’ll clean it, I promise, I-“</p><p> </p><p>“You’re just lucky I was going to give her a clean-out tonight, you little shit,” Dean still glared, but the heat of it dissipated with his words. “Go on, get,” Sam scrambled out of the car and disappeared, not before giving Cas a knowing smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean, did you want me to help with the clean-up?” Cas whispered. Dean gave Cas an appreciating smile from over his shoulder before turning back to the mess on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“No, don’t stress about it, Cas. You should preserve your energy for better things, and besides, you’ve got a sleeping Jack on your shoulder,” Dean chuckled. “Trust me, I’ve got this. Me and Baby need some time together, anyway.” Cas frowned, still not quite understanding the hunter’s unhealthy attachment to his car but nodded anyway. He scooped Jack up into his arms and exited the vehicle quietly, Jack stirring only slightly as the door closed. Cas couldn’t help the rush of accomplishment as he left the garage, child in tow. There’s no way Dean was going to miss the poem. Hopefully, now, it’ll give Dean the burst of encouragement needed to ‘make a move’, as humans so eloquently put it.</p><p> </p><p>Once Castiel was sure Jack was wrapped up snugly in his Spiderman bedspread, he made his way to his room, coat in hand. There was a burning feeling of both trepidation and exhilaration in his gut at the prospect of his relationship with Dean progressing to a newer, more intimate level. It sparked a level of curiosity from the angel as the feeling spread from his gut to an even-lower part of his body. Cas hummed as he felt his cock twitch in interest.</p><p> </p><p>He knows about masturbation, of course. He had a mildly embarrassing conversation with Dean when he was human, during the unfortunate time when he was working at the Gas’N’Sip. That was one memory Cas didn’t want to dwell on too much though. He turned to his bedroom door and clicked the lock, throwing his coat onto the chair sitting in the corner of his room. It was an unnecessary precaution. He knew Jack or Sam wouldn’t come barging into his room at this hour unless it was an emergency. Dean wouldn’t either, under normal circumstances, but if he reads that poem...</p><p> </p><p>Cas felt his heartbeat pick up at the thought of Dean sitting on the hood of his car, Cas’ note in hand. He indulged himself, for a moment, and thought of how Dean would react. Would he smile, to know Cas feels the same way about him? Would he flush that gorgeous pink shade Cas had seen countless times, brought on by others? His cock twitched again at the thought of <em>him</em> being the reason Dean was flushed. Oh, and to think of him biting his lip nervously...glancing around, contemplating coming to Cas’ side?</p><p> </p><p>He gently pulled off his jacket and undid his tie. The soft fabric slipped through his fingers as it trickled onto the floor, blue onto the black. The buttons of his shirts were undone, slowly, surely, as he continued in his fantasy.</p><p> </p><p>Dean would make his way to Cas’ room, and...then what? The door’s locked. Thwarted by his own forbearance. But, oh, if the door <em>was</em> unlocked? Why, Dean could come waltzing right on in. Cas let out a heavy breath as his white shirt joined the chaos on his bedroom floor. He danced his hands around his belt before he imagined Dean’s fingers pulling him to halt. Warm hands pressing gently into his skin, with a rumbling whisper accompanying them.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me,” He would say. Cas wouldn’t be able to find the words to respond, but he’d give his enthusiastic consent in other ways. A nod of his head, pleading eyes, directing Dean to his buckle...and he’d be rewarded with a glowing smile, so blinding...</p><p> </p><p>“Cas?” The knock at Cas’ door broke him out of his daydream, shattering like glass. At the realisation the voice belonged to Jack, any chance of his daydream possibly being resurrected at a later moment were dashed entirely, more effective than a cold shower.</p><p> </p><p>“Jack?” Cas made his way to his door as he pulled his shirt and jacket on. He knew Jack seeing Cas without at least his tie on might look...actually, he wasn’t sure how it would look, even to a keener eye than his son. He hastily put the tie on as well, not caring about how neat it looked. Wasn’t Dean always fixing it, anyway? “Are you alright?”</p><p> </p><p>“I...um...I had a nightmare,” Jack mumbled, and Cas ached at how small and frightened he sounded. He unlocked the door and ripped it open. Jack looked pale, and his eyes were red like he’d been crying.</p><p> </p><p>“Jack...” Cas breathed, taking a few steps back and holding out his arms. Jack cautiously wandered into Cas’ room and right into his offered hug. Cas rested his head on top of Jack’s and rubbed what he hoped was a soothing pattern into his back. “Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” His answer was immediate, but he still pulled his face back from Cas’ embrace to look startled about it. “Sorry. I just...”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s okay, Jack. Sometimes things are better left unspoken about,” Cas gave him a small smile. “Dean never talks about his nightmares, either.” Jack tilted his head at that.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean has nightmares?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh yes, he’s had quite a few of them. Sam too, I suppose, but I’ve had to comfort Dean more times than Sam,” He shrugged. Jack frowned. “What’s the matter?”</p><p> </p><p>“I just...never thought Dean would have anything to be afraid of,” He mused quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s where you’re wrong, kid,” Dean’s voice came low from Cas’ door. Jack broke away from Cas to turn and face Dean. The hunter looked tired, and there was a haunted look in his eye, but Cas noticed the piece of paper, clenched in his right fist. It made his pulse quicken. “I’ve got so many things to be afraid of,”</p><p> </p><p>“Like?” Jack’s voice remained soft, and Cas knew he was still exhausted. Dean could hear it too and tilted his head towards the hallway.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll tell you another time. I promise,” He gave Jack a levelling stare, predicting the protests before they came. “But right now, you should try and get back to sleep. It’s the sugar and bright movie screen. They always mix into great nightmare fodder. Did you want me to walk you back to your room?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, please.” Jack turned back to Cas and gave him a warm smile. “Goodnight, Castiel. Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Goodnight, Jack. If you need me, just call out, okay?” Cas gently squeezed his son’s shoulder. Jack nodded seriously before making his way out of the room. Dean gave Cas a knowing eyebrow raise. Feeling brave, Cas openly stared at Dean’s clasped hand before giving him the same look. Dean huffed out a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“G’night Cas.” He winked, and followed Jack down the corridor, leaving Cas’ bedroom door wide open. Cas stared incredulously at the space Dean had left before turning back towards his dresser. His eye caught the cassette Dean had made him a few years back and smiled at the deliberate misspelling of the word ‘tracks’. An idea sparked from those tiny little x’s, and Cas reached for a pen yet again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Dean woke up well-rested and starving. He rolled over and was surprised to see a steaming mug of coffee and a bacon and egg roll on a plate resting on his side table. He smiled as he stretched and made his way over to his little rickety chair. He brought his coffee to his lips, noticing a Post-It stuck on the side of the mug. Frowning, he pulled the note off and read:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Good morning. Hope you slept well. Love Cas xx</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He didn’t know what made his heart pound more, the fact the angel had signed off with ‘Love Cas’ or the tiny little ‘xx’ at the end of the note. Either way, Dean felt an ache in his cheeks as he continued to smile. He glanced up towards his door, which had been left slightly ajar. There were more Post-It’s stuck to the back of his bedroom door, with little arrows pointing to the next note. He put his coffee down and brought his plate with him. He counted sixteen notes decorating his door, taking a huge bite out of his roll as he read Cas’ clear penmanship:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Here are thirteen songs I have heard</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That make me think of you, Dean.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You might think it completely absurd.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Please enjoy this list with your caffeine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love and I love and I love you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So I guess, without further ado...</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Daylight – Taylor Swift.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I Won’t Give Up- Jason Mraz.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Angel With A Shotgun- The Cab.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kiss Me- Ed Sheeran.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ruin The Friendship- Demi Lovato. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Incomplete Lullaby- Lisa Mitchell.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Undisclosed Desires- Muse.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A Thousand Years- Christina Perri.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I Will Follow You Into The Dark- Death Cab For A Cutie.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I Want You- Savage Garden.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like Real People Do- Hozier.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Adore You- Harry Styles.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love Me Tender- Elvis Presley.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Dean only recognized the Savage Garden song and the Elvis Presley one. Something told him all of them were, at the very least, love songs of some description. He took the Post-It’s off his door and arranged them neatly onto his desk in the order Cas had indicated for him to read them, smiling all the while.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Castiel was washing the dishes in the kitchen, listening hard for footsteps. He hoped Dean appreciated his notes. Even though he <em>knows</em> the hunter feels the same way, he couldn’t help feeling nervous to find out how he took the playlist. Was he going to listen to the songs straight away, or leave it until later? He flushed imagining Dean’s reaction to the ‘Ruin The Friendship’ song. It was the only one that could be a little bit too far outside Dean’s comfort zone. The insinuation behind it also made his stomach turn nervously. He doubted himself so many times over that song, but he figured, especially since last night, it was either going to hit the mark or miss it entirely. He can roll with the punches either way. Cas heard footfalls on the steps towards the kitchen and straightened his back as he finished drying the skillet he used to cook Dean’s breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning, angel,” Dean chirped as he brought his dishes towards the sink, turning the water back on.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning...human,” Cas squinted, fighting the smile from breaking on his face. Dean smirked.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess it doesn’t sound like a nickname to you, does it?” He poured a healthy amount of dishwashing liquid into his coffee mug, grabbing the washcloth and scrubbing the cup clean as he considered. “What about ‘sunshine’? I’ve called you that before,”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess. Does this mean I can give you nicknames too?” Cas put the skillet back into the cupboard, but he didn’t miss Dean’s wide grin.</p><p> </p><p>“You mean you haven’t, not even privately when I’ve pissed you off?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” He pretended to think, bringing his finger to his chin to consider. “Well then, I guess I have then, but those won’t do now,”</p><p> </p><p>“Only for when you’re angry with me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I could never be...no, there have been occasions, I suppose,” He shrugged. “But I’m not angry with you right now, at least. How about ‘sweetheart’?” Cas smiled as he watched Dean splash water onto his chest, soap suds dampening his t-shirt in shock.</p><p> </p><p>“Sweet...sweetheart’s fine, I guess,” He mumbled, keeping his eyes firmly on his all-too-clean plate. Cas felt a wave of vindication cascade over him at the blush on Dean’s cheeks. He could kiss them; they were so pretty. High off the adrenaline gifted to him by Dean’s reaction, he sauntered over to the sink. The blush in Dean’s cheeks became more and more pronounced, and Cas smiled before pressing his lips to the burning pool of red in the hunter’s left cheek.</p><p> </p><p>It was only for a second, and he barely grazed Dean’s skin, but to both men, it felt like a revelation. Dean let out a surprised noise, low from the back of his throat. Cas brought his hand to Dean’s shoulder and squeezed it before walking away.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re beautiful when you blush, sweetheart.” Cas murmured from the kitchen door, before bringing the door to a near-close and wandering off. He knew Dean heard him if the man’s loud gulp was anything to go by.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That <em>fucker</em>, Dean thought as he put his dishes away. He was deliberately making Dean feel emotions he hadn’t felt in...well, if he thought about it, <em>years</em>. Dean frowned. It’d probably been before Hell, with Cassie. He sighed. That felt like a whole other lifetime ago. He was a different person then, and now Castiel was bringing back the giddy young adult who believed in love. Dean snorted. Figures he’d fall for someone with a similar-sounding name.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of Dean’s day passed quietly. He checked on Baby, making sure he had succeeded in irradicating all traces of that stupid slushie. However, he mused, he couldn’t be <em>too</em> annoyed at Sam. If it hadn’t been for Sam’s spill, he wouldn’t have come across Cas’ poem. Everything seemed a little convenient, however, so he waltzed into the War Room to find Sam. He saw his brother sitting at his laptop, having just hung up from a Skype call with Eileen. Dean went to speak to him, but he also noticed Cas sitting a little further off, reading something. He frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“Whatcha reading there, Cas?” The angel glanced up and gave Dean a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Shakespeare’s sonnets,” He let out a small huff of a sigh.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Dean didn’t know how else to respond to Cas’ wistful gaze. “Didn’t know you were a fan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Very much so. Some of his sonnets are a little dry for my taste, but some of them are quite thought-provoking,”</p><p> </p><p>“Like the ‘Shall I compare thee’ one?” Dean smiled, and Cas nodded. Sam chuckled. “Yes, Sam?”</p><p> </p><p>“Didn’t know you knew Shakespeare, Dean, that’s all,” He shook his head, grabbing his water bottle. “You seem more of a...well, honestly, didn’t think you read much poetry at all.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>read</em>, dude,” Dean huffed. Sam rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his bottle. “Which’s your favourite, Cas? Might check it out,”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m partial to Sonnet 57. I think that’s my favourite,” Cas frowned at Sam, who was now choking on a mouthful of water. Dean thumped him on the back, and Sam waved his hand to tell him he’s good.</p><p> </p><p>“Son...Sonnet 57? Really, Cas?” Sam smirked, glancing between Dean and Cas. Dean frowned, and Cas just stared at Sam. “Actually,” He went quiet. “You know what, that makes a lot of sense,”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, weirdo,” Dean patted his brother’s back. Cas got out of his chair, carrying the book with him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to take Jack out for some flying practice, might be a few hours. He’s still a little hesitant with the ‘wing thing’, as you would say,” Cas smiled as he handed Dean the book of sonnets. “Perhaps you’ll find your favourite sonnet while we’re gone.” If Cas’ hands lingered for a moment too long as he passed the book to Dean...well, Dean would swear to anybody who asked, his hands did <em>not</em> become sweaty.</p><p> </p><p>He snuck off to his bedroom and settled down onto his duvet. You can do this, Winchester. Cas told you which poem was his favourite just...open the book. He let out a shaky breath before flipping the book open, scanning the contents page for Sonnet 57. Once he found it, the pages fluttered loudly in the silent room until he found it and began to read.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Being your slave, what should I do but tend</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Upon the hours and times of your desire?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have no precious time at all to spend,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nor services to do, till you require.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nor think the bitterness of absence sour</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When you have bid your servant once adieu;</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Nor dare I question with my jealous thought</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But like a sad slave, stay and think of nought,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Save, where you are how happy you make those.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>So true a fool is love that in your will</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Though you do anything, he thinks no ill.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>He went over the words once, twice, and felt a blush slowly colour his cheeks. Castiel was being...incredibly direct in his feelings with this poem. No wonder Sam choked. Dean felt his entire body burn at the thought of Sam knowing how Cas feels about him. He straightened the book out. A piece of paper slipped out of the book, and he swallowed nervously. The last time he came across a piece of paper, it was Cas answering his poem. He picked it up, and couldn’t hide the rush of emotion he had earlier this morning from his face.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dean,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I trust you’ll find this letter well, and Sam doesn’t come across it once you’re done with the book. I’ll admit, I fully intended you to not only be in possession of this book but to also read Sonnet 57. It reminds me of you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now, I haven’t had time to attempt a sonnet recently, but I did write one a while back. Please note the date it was written ― I will not let you believe I will ever be content with hiding my feelings for you anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>‘Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Forever yours,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Castiel.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Dean tilted his head at the quote. He’s fairly certain he’s come across those words before, but the memory of where evaded him. He drew in a deep breath before flipping the page. The date surprised him. September 18<sup>th</sup>, 2018. Dean pushed out his breath in surprise. Jesus Christ, it’s really been over a decade since they met.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The stars in your eyes shine bright as the Sun.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Perhaps I never noticed it before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But my darling, you’re such a pretty one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your rosy complexion’s what I adore.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Hopeful dreams, that is why I fell from grace.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your soul is what drove me down to the Earth.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just to see freckles adorning your face,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Darling, don’t you know I can see your worth?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>However, after our long decade here,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I cannot admit to you how I feel.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Although my love is a lightning strike, dear,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m afraid my feelings must be concealed.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>You mean the absolute world to me, Dean.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For now, I’m content being in between.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Dean blinked and ignored the pain in his chest. He could never deserve the love Castiel so willingly offers but damn it, he wanted to. He smiled, folding up the letter and putting it with the Post-It notes. Sonnets, huh? Can’t be that difficult, he thought as he reached for his pen and notepad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jack grinned up at Cas once they flew back to the outside of the Bunker. Cas gave him a proud smile back. The boy had managed to flit between the trees of the clearing with reasonable ease, so Cas decided their three hours of practice had achieved results. He had to bribe Jack back home with the promise of banana pancakes. Hopefully, by now, Dean will have read not only the sonnet but also the poem Cas wrote for Dean.</p><p> </p><p>As they wandered into the War Room, Cas was confused to find Dean leaning back on one of the chairs, legs crossed up on the table, with a book in hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t tell me Sam found a case and you’re doing research?” Cas smirked at Dean’s look of surprise. Jack let out a laugh at the sight of the fearsome hunter looking so startled.</p><p> </p><p>“You...holy crap, Cas, don’t do that,” He held his hand to his chest, getting up out of the chair.</p><p> </p><p>“My apologies.”</p><p> </p><p>“Cas promised me banana pancakes,” Jack beamed. Dean raised his eyebrows at Cas, who shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Must’ve done a damn good job then. How about banana and <em>chocolate chip</em> pancakes? Courtesy of yours truly, of course,” Dean gave a wide flourish towards himself. Jack couldn’t have raced to the kitchen fast enough. Cas almost thought he’d flown. “Damn, offer the kid some chocolate...” He shook his head, before turning back to Cas. “So, a successful outing, then?”</p><p> </p><p>“Very much so,” Cas looked at the book Dean was reading and frowned to see it wasn’t the sonnet book he had given him earlier. It was the King James Version of the Bible, instead. “Ah, you don’t suppose you could tell me...”</p><p> </p><p>“...where I put the book of sonnets you loaned me?” Dean smirked. “I returned it to your room. I wasn’t doing any research, by the way. I was chasing up a particular quote I thought I recognised somewhere,” He pressed his hand to Cas’ shoulder, grinning wider at the look of intrigue in Cas’ eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh? Pray tell, I might be able to clear it up,”</p><p> </p><p>“No need, I found the section. Although I have to say, I never knew the Bible could be so racy,” He hummed, bringing his lips to Cas’ ear. “<em>’</em><em>Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.</em><em>’</em>” Cas felt his face heat up, despite his usually firm control over his body. His hands trembled, and he could feel his pulse racing violently. He felt Dean’s soft puff of breath trail down the side of his neck, hot and enticing, and barely controlled himself when Dean pressed his lips to the skin there. Before Cas could say anything, Dean pulled back out of his space and gave him a dazzling grin. “Who knew the prophets were so horny, huh?"</p><p> </p><p>"I...uh..." He gulped, and the gleam in Dean’s eye turned wicked. He winked before making his way towards the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, by the way,” He called over his shoulder. “You should definitely go and check on that book. Just saying.” Then he was gone. Cas waited until he got control of the shaking in his hands before doing as Dean suggested.</p><p> </p><p>There was soft music playing in his room, which intrigued Cas. Once he opened his door, he recognised Led Zeppelin’s ‘The Rain Song’, one of the songs Dean had put onto the mixtape he made him. Cas smiled as he spotted the sonnet book resting on the corner of his bed, but the note resting on top of it sparked a wild curiosity in Cas’ still racing heart. He paused the music before taking the note into his hands.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Cas,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Thank you for your poem. I hope you know how much you mean to me. Of course, you’re aware of how poorly I can show my affection sometimes. Christ, Sammy’s only ever heard me tell him I love him a handful of times, and if that isn’t telling, I don’t know what is. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But my point is, you know I’m a man of action, not of words. However, you make me want to be both. So, in response to your sonnet, and everything you have done for me in our long history together, I give you my shoddy attempt at a Shakespearean sonnet.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>All my love,</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Dean xx</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Cas ran the tip of his forefinger reverently over the sign-off. Angels don’t cry, but he could feel his eyes welling up at the magnitude of Dean’s words. Anybody who knew Dean, as he stated, knows the hunter does not proclaim his love lightly. Cas has already read the words ‘I love you’ from him, but the casualness of this sign-off and the fact Dean <em>knew</em> Cas was going to read this one struck a deeper chord within Cas’ heart. He flipped over the letter, ignoring the tear escaping his eye.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Angel, your feathers draw stars on my skin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your rough lips inspire my darkest dreams.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My blood sings out for my deadliest sin,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But my mind muffles these erratic screams.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Should I tell you my wildest fantasy?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Should I let you see deep into my soul?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Every night I have without you with me,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I imagine I’ve got your arms to hold.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I know you enjoy watching me sleeping,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m dreaming of our fights and broken tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I sometimes hear your voice, such a sweet thing,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chasing away all my deadliest fears.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>You no longer need to hide your meekness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your faithful love is my only weakness.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Castiel smiled as he read the final couplet, tears now openly spilling down his cheeks. If the Empty was to ever take him, it would surely be now, because he knew with utter certainty, this light feeling is true happiness. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his wild heart.</p><p> </p><p>“Cas?”</p><p> </p><p>He would know that voice in any port or storm. Castiel opened his eyes to see Dean standing in front of him, timidly fiddling with the hem of his Henley. He gave the hunter a small smile, which he didn’t catch because he was pretending to be fascinated by his shoes.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean,” He breathed.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, Sam took Jack out to check out the new laser-tag place just outside of town,” Dean kept his gaze firmly on the ground, even as he started to blush.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean,” He tried again, but Dean continued nervously fiddling and keeping his gaze away from Cas. “Look at me.” Cas couldn’t help the crack in his voice, and it’s what attracted Dean’s gaze to his eyes, finally. “Dean,” He slowly made his way towards the hunter, but when he noticed he wasn’t meeting timid movements anymore, Cas picked up his pace until he was standing in front of Dean.</p><p> </p><p>He pulled him into a hug, just as they’ve done a thousand times before. Unlike before, however, Cas made a point of pressing his cheek into Dean’s neck. The hunter groaned at the contact. Cas brought his lips to Dean’s neck, and pressed soft kisses into his skin, trailing them across his jaw until they were face-to-face and lips a hair’s breadth away.</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s breath was heavy, and his eyes were drawn shut. Castiel was burning to lean forward and just take, but the angel has had millennia to practise restraint. If they were to dive into the free-fall, he wanted the man before him to take the first step. Dean opened his eyes slowly, a question in his gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Cas,” His tongue snuck out to wet his lips, and Cas mirrored his movements slowly. Dean watched, enraptured, before he breathed out a sigh. “You’re gonna kill me with this patience, darlin’,”</p><p> </p><p>“Only waiting for you, sweetheart,” Cas relished in the starry look he brought out in Dean’s eyes at the words. The hunter huffed out another breath as he slowly brought his hands up to Cas’ jacket, gripping the material in his hands. Dean gave Cas his best devil-may-care smirk, and at Cas’ eyebrow raise, it melted into a genuine smile. “I’ll wait forever, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you will, and it’s one of the many reasons why I love you.” The words rolled off his tongue so easily, it took Cas by surprise. Dean gently pulled on his jacket, bringing their lips together.</p><p> </p><p>There were no fireworks, no screaming choirs, no confetti. It was peace, tranquil, gentle. Dean kissed him, and it was as if Cas’ entire being sighed out: ‘Oh, there you are. Welcome home.’ Cas followed Dean’s lips, his hands reaching up to caress his cheek. Dean smiled into Cas, and the angel could hear Dean’s heartbeat slow down to a steady pace. It warmed him to know he could soothe the hunter so easily. Cas smiled back as he felt Dean tentatively widen their kisses, subtlety pressing his tongue against the angel’s lips. He welcomed the deeper kisses, snaking his arm around Dean’s waist, and trailing his hand from the hunter’s cheek to the back of his head. He gently pulled on Dean’s hair and was rewarded with a groan.</p><p> </p><p>“By the way, I listened to the playlist you put together for me,” Dean breathed into Cas’ mouth, and Cas brought his lips to Dean’s neck so he could continue talking. Loud panting came from Dean’s lips now, and Cas nipped his skin gently to encourage him to keep speaking. “Ah, thought they were all sappy love songs. Not that I didn’t appreciate them, they were beautiful, but that ‘Ruin The Friendship’ one was...”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?” The sound came out in a low growl and judging from the sharp uptick in Dean’s heart rate, the hunter took it as such.</p><p> </p><p>“Cas, I need you.” Dean’s eyes looked almost feverish as he dug his nails into Cas’ back. Castiel moaned and pulled Dean’s lips back to his. Who was he to ignore such a request?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>*********</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dean was a generous lover. Even if the sex was bad―and it rarely ever was, thank you <em>very</em> much―his partners couldn’t fault him on his ability to make sure they climaxed at least once. But it seems, with Castiel, he’d finally met his match.</p><p> </p><p>It was a happy realisation, to be sure. As Dean writhed, blissfully naked, under the delicate precision of Cas’ three nimble fingers inside him, he found he believed in fate and soulmates more than ever before. The angel brought his knowledge of Dean’s body to the bedroom, and he took that understanding of him very seriously. Dean had prayed loudly that he hopes Cas doesn’t heal the bite-marks and bruises that decorate his body, and it had earned him a growl to tell him ‘message received’.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean,” Cas pressed his lips insistently into the crease between Dean’s groin and his thigh. Dean threaded his fingers through the angel’s dark locks, shivering at the thrill of being able to do that after years of wishing, hoping, dreaming. Cas looked through his eyelashes up to Dean and wore a coy smile before tentatively running his tongue over Dean’s neglected cock. Dean gave Cas an appreciative moan, but the hunter nearly jack-knifed up as Cas wrapped his lips around him and sucked right down to the root.</p><p> </p><p>“Holy <em>fuck</em>, Cas,” He breathed, and Cas stared up, fucking <em>winked</em> at him, and slowly pulled his lips up and down Dean’s length. The angel continued pressing his fingers inside him, hitting his prostate with every few thrusts in and out. Dean honestly would’ve been happy to let Cas continue his ministrations until the world ended, but he needed <em>more</em>. “Cas, if you don’t st―” He couldn’t continue, however, because Cas chose that moment to groan with his lips pressed to the base of Dean’s cock. He was starting to think he could <em>taste</em> his climax, and he tugged hard on Cas’ hair to let the angel know. With a loud slurp, Castiel pulled his lips off Dean’s cock, <em>finally</em>, and gave Dean a wry smile.</p><p> </p><p>“You think I don’t know how far to push you, Dean?” He pulled his fingers slowly out of Dean’s entrance, making Dean let out a wanton moan. “You think I don’t know how much you need this? How much you <em>crave</em> this? Tell me, Dean. Tell me what you want,” It didn’t surprise Dean at all to find how easily Cas slipped into the dominant top role, but Dean’s response to it, however...</p><p> </p><p>“Cas, please, fuck me,” He moaned. Cas pressed a bruising kiss into his lips, and he heard the tell-tale snick of the lube being opened.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t intend to do that,” Cas spoke matter-of-factly as if Dean’s heart didn’t freeze at his words. Green eyes met blue ones, and Cas smiled as he shook his head, continuing to slick his cock. “Don’t fret, Dean. I was merely correcting your language, not changing our course. You see,” He pressed the head near Dean’s entrance, not enough to catch but enough to make Dean burn with desire. “I intend to make love to you.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas slowly pushed himself in, burying his lips into Dean’s neck. The hunter trembled as Cas bottomed out, and together they breathed as Dean adjusted. Cas busied his lips with the sensitive spot near Dean’s ear until the other man murmured a soft ‘please’. He didn’t pick up speed immediately, however, seemingly content to tear Dean apart at a gentler pace.</p><p> </p><p>“Cas,” Dean breathed like a prayer, and the angel brought his face up to look Dean in the eye, smiling widely. “I love you,” The reverence never left his voice, and Dean reached out to lock his hands with Cas’. “I love you so much.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too, Dean,” Cas kissed him, and Dean couldn’t help the small moans falling from his lips as Cas adjusted his position slightly to do so. Now he was hitting Dean’s prostate with every slow thrust.</p><p> </p><p>“Faster, more, please,” Those three words, on repeat, even as Cas picked up the pace. Together they started to tremble, both moving with synchronicity. Dean broke first, calling out Cas’ name as he came across both their chests, body tightening around Cas, pulling out the angel’s orgasm. They still held hands as they came down from their high together, chasing lost breaths. Cas pulled out, and before Dean even considered the mess on their bodies, the angel had already cleared it away with a simple head tilt. They shared a satiated grin as Cas laid down next to Dean, wrapping their arms around each other. Dean didn’t feel the need to break the peace between them, happy to bask in the afterglow of the best sex he’d had in...he couldn’t recall an exact time, so he was going to say ‘forever’. Cas pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple.</p><p> </p><p>“So, I take it you liked Sonnet 57, then?” Dean didn’t need to look at Cas to know he had that proud little smirk he always wore when he was proven right.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, jackass, I liked the sonnet. Preferred yours, though,” He hummed, and he grinned as he felt Cas’ laughing breath dance through his hair. “Any other favourite poems I should know about?” Cas made a thoughtful noise.</p><p> </p><p>“How about this one? It’s not Shakespeare, but it is a favourite of mine,” He mused, before drawing in a breath and reciting slowly:</p><p> </p><p>“Drink to me only with thine eyes,</p><p>         And I will pledge with mine;</p><p>Or leave a kiss but in the cup,</p><p>         And I’ll not look for wine.</p><p>The thirst that from the soul doth rise</p><p>         Doth ask a drink divine;</p><p>But might I of Jove’s nectar sup,</p><p>         I would not change for thine.</p><p> </p><p>I sent thee late a rosy wreath,</p><p>         Not so much honouring thee</p><p>As giving it a hope, that there</p><p>         It could not withered be.</p><p>But thou thereon didst only breathe,</p><p>         And sent’st it back to me;</p><p>Since when it grows, and smells, I swear,</p><p>         Not of itself, but thee.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean let out a low whistle and burrowed his head into Cas’ chest.</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re trying to impress me with your extensive memory of poetry, you don’t need to,”</p><p> </p><p>“But you appreciate it anyway,” Cas ran his fingers slowly up and down Dean’s arm, noting the slowness of the hunter’s breathing. “You should get some sleep, Dean,” He pressed a soothing kiss onto the top of the protesting man’s head. “I’ll still be here when you wake. Thought I made that clear. Never going to leave you without you knowing anymore. I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good,” Dean was already starting to drift. “You know what, Shakespeare can suck it. He ain’t got nothin’ on me and you,” His breathing became more laboured and softer. “Love you too.” His words were slow and quieter than his breath. Castiel smiled in the darkness of his room.</p><p> </p><p>Dean Winchester is a lot of things, and one of Castiel’s favourite things to call him is ‘a poet’.</p>
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